What Not To Wear

By Kitty Von Quim
If someone tells you that they're absolutely in love with their body a hundred percent of the time, they are more than likely lying. My relationship with my physique in 2012, after nearly five years of dancing with Rubenesque Burlesque, is so far away from what it was before I joined the troupe.

Somewhere in my early teens I continued my family's legacy of being a fat kid. I strived to be an unexplained gainer of weight, and never ate publicly, while I scarfed down two or three meals worth of food after school. As instructed by my family, I always cleaned my plate of any of their delicious Cajun home-cooking. I was never encouraged to be active: recently I heard my mother didn't sign me up for dance class because she thought I would become a whore. By the time I could take my own action, someone had already told me I was fat. No one wanted to see me dance. No one wanted to see me run, jump, skip, do cartwheels.

Post-college, I moved from Louisiana to California. When I walked through the streets of San Francisco, I could see nothing but slim, fit people. There was no easy access to plus size clothing! Wouldn't life be easier not being fat? I started working with a trainer to lose weight, and I did lose a little bit. My mother and my grandmother saw me and exclaimed how much prettier I was when I wasn't hiding behind all of my chub. I made plans for all of things I would do and wear when I was thin! So when the weight returned – I inevitably lapsed my gym membership – I knew that I was getting uglier and uglier.

Now, I never was mopey about my weight, or talked down about my body. In regards to my fat I maintained a Southern attitude: we didn't talk about it. My struggles with my body were only confronted in dressing rooms as I went the next size up in pants. My wardrobe was solidly the color black, no horizontal stripes, and no jeans were skinny (because, duh, I wasn't).

I met Rubenesque Burlesque after they had performed. I was bold enough to tell them how fabulous they were and Juicy D. Light told me that I should come and play. Suddenly that was my permission to do everything I had always wanted to do, and thought no one wanted to see. One person opened the door for me, and I walked through it. One person wanting to see me perform meant I could dance as much as I wanted. I could wear all of the fabulous clothes and colors and horizontal stripes I wanted! I could strip as much as I wanted!

That one person led to audiences of people screaming for me as I took off each article of clothing: with each one, they wanted more, and I definitely have more to show. This permission nurtured the love I had buried all along, and now I'm happy to dance for myself and share it with others. Time moves too fast to wait until you're perfect: for now, have fun inside the body you have.
Kitty Von Quim having unadulterated wicked awesome fun inside the body she has

Fat, Fine and Fabulous

By Ms. Frida B.

For years I have been struggling with my body and its gain in weight. When I was growing up I was the skinny awkward kid with big feet. I didn’t weigh 100 pounds until I was 19. I could eat anything I wanted and often did. I hated my body then. I felt too skinny, though I have always had a large ass – thank you, Jesus!

At 19 I had a life-changing event happen that caused me to gain weight I was never able to lose. I also had a boyfriend who liked to point out when I was gaining weight. He often stated how he didn’t like big chicks. He wasn’t cruel, just not understanding. I went from 100 pounds to 130 over two or three years. While that doesn't seem bad, for me it was traumatic


People We Love: Laci Green

Miss Magnoliah Black
By Miss Magnoliah Black

I've been following this woman's wonderful antics and insights for a while.  She recently did a vlog that rocked my world.  I totally approve this fat friendly message.



My BurlyCon Experience

By Miss Magnoliah Black

Alright I’m totally writing this all kinds of late but BurlyCon was amaaaaaaaaaaazing.

Before we got there I was 75% body conscious with a  high chance of freaking the fuck out since our fearless troupe leader Juicy D. Light signed us up for peer reviews.  Now let me make is completely clear: Peer Reviews are not about competition against other performers.  It is about putting yourself out there and finding out how you can grow, what works and what doesn’t.

In a perfect non-ego driven world I would have been calm about the whole thing … but I wasn’t in this magical world. I have ego in tons, loads of it in fact and while I did not see myself as competing against anyone else I wanted to bring my best to the table.

I wanted to be perfect because I love these women so much.  This love was conveyed in the most conventional means.

By conventional I mean completely spazing out.



By Miss Magnoliah Black

Normally I paint a scene and give everyone a bit of background information but I feel that this incident of jackassery needs no such introduction

For suggesting that I lack the ability to do my job because I am fat.
Fuck you!!
Fuck you!!
Fuck You!!!!!!
I wish I had paid more attention in latin and biology class so that I could appropriately place you into the correct order, family, species, and genus of Ed Hardy Brotard you were obviously born into.

You know two years ago I would have cried. I would have been embarrassed. I would have not eaten for a week and then crawled inside a couple of cartons of Häagen-Dazs but now

Now I refuse to let some sizest shit head send me spiraling into a binge and purger.
Yeah I'm fat
and I'm also a damn skippy therapist
My size has nothing to do with my precision or skill you (insert all sorts of hyphenated f-bomb references to the vilest creatures imaginable) My deep tissue is a beast and my therapeutic precision capabilities have been trained tested and proven. So lets call a spade a spade. It wasn't about the massage was it? It's because as Juicy put it "I didn't make your dick hard". If you wanted a massage you can jack off to you should have peeped the fucking metro jackass.

We are professionals... we go to school for this and judging our work based on size, sex or sexual-orientation makes you kinda suck

like a hoover.

Things We Love #1: Revlon Precision Lash Adhesive

by Lucia N. Habitions

Anyone who has ever fought with faux eyelashes will appreciate this fabulous find. Revlon Precision Lash Adhesive makes the chore of setting lashes much easier to accomplish. What makes this glue a winner is that the cap has a built-in wand with brush at the tip, which makes it easier to apply a thin strip to the lashes, meaning less mess and a thinner line of glue. Also, the glue turns cobalt when ready for application, but dries clear. And at around $5 at your local drugstore, it's easy on the pocket, too! You can read more about it here:


Fat on Phat Violence....a rant

By Miss Magnoliah Black

Disclaimer: the following post contains multiple, continuous and flagrantly shameless usage of the words: fuck, bitch, and FAT If any of these words offend you or if you're one of my former English teachers please navigate away from this page now

Dear Ungrateful Fat Bitches,
nobody put's baby in a corner